Why I no longer trust my doctor

This blog post reflects my journey and should in no wise be considered medical advice.

Growing up I was taught to trust doctors almost without question. I remember the days when our family physician would come to our home with his little black bag to care for us when we were ill. In most cases pills played a small role in their practice. Yes, they would prescribe antibiotics for infection, but I remember most of the time they would recommend home remedies and lots of fluids and rest. 

This implicit trust carried over as medicine began to change. When I was ill they would write a prescription for whatever ailed me. Almost exclusively treatment was chemical, home remedies were scoffed at and almost universally discouraged. The days of non-pharmaceutical treatment were over for good. 

As medicine changed HMO’s came into being. There was an assembly line feel to visiting the doctor. The visits became shorter and shorter, doctors seemed perturbed if you expected answers to your questions. The wait times became longer with no concern for the time needs of their patients. They came and went quickly to accommodate as many patients in a day as they could treat. Medicine was becoming a business based on numbers and the days of caring patient healthcare was slowly disappearing. 

Soon treatment became an exercise in statistics. The days of evaluating the individual needs of the patient became a one size fits all approach. Cookie cutter treatment plans became the model no matter the diverse backgrounds or actual needs of the person being treated. 

Even though all these negative changes had taken place I still held doctors and medicine in high regard. Advancements in technology and pharmacology still spoke to the efficacy of modern medicine. 

Early in 2000 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. When I saw an Endocrinologist at a highly rated and recommended practice I was astounded at the arrogance and disdain the doctor had for me. She chided me about my weight and made certain I understood I was solely to blame for my diagnosis. Now there is a certain amount of truth in her diatribe, I ate the wrong foods and had done so for years. 

But, hold on a minute, I had been trying to follow the dietary guidelines given to me by my PCP. I was emphatically told to eat more grains, vegetable oils, fruits and vegetables and stop eating red meat. All this I dutifully did. I ate so much grilled chicken breasts that over time I had to gag them down. I threw out the butter and replaced it with margarine. I only had beef on rare occasions, eggs where off the menu for years. I did everything my doctor admonished me to do and the end result was that I gained weight until I had reached 315 pounds. Yes, I was asked to play Santa an awful lot. 

In addition to the dietary guidelines I exercised four times a week. This included cardio and weights. I went on a 1200 calorie a day diet. I lost weight, but quickly gained it back once I resumed eating according to the dietary guidelines again. Nothing my doctor told me worked. Yet they continued to harangue me about my weight. Lose weight and the diabetes will be helped. 

For nearly 10 years my condition grew worse. Desparate I went on an 800 calorie a day diet for 1 year. In that time I lost over 100 pounds and ended at 190. While on this extremely restrictive diet my A1c was normal. I went off all my medications and stopped insulin. Once finished with starving myself I followed the Mediterranean diet recommended by my doctor. Within 6 months I was back up to nearly 300 pounds. I again was diabetic and would soon be back on insulin.

In 2018 I was, by chance, introduced to the Ketogenic Diet when I saw a video by Dr. Ken Berry in which he made the claim that Type 2 diabetes could be reversed. A claim that my doctor said was nonsense when I asked him about it. He then proceeded to admonish me of the dangers of such a course of eating, stating that it was unsustainable and dangerous. All this was based on the faulty data (in my humble opinion) from the American Diabetic Associated at that time. 

I did, however, reverse my Type 2 diabetes within 6 months. I no longer needed my medicine and went from 150 units of insulin a day to 0 units. My diabetes was gone. Despite my success my doctor fought me every inch of the way. That is not where the story ends I also lost over 100 pounds, again, but kept it off because of the health benefits of keto.

After 2 years of remission it was discovered that my pancreas was slowly losing the function of beta cells. These cells make insulin in the body. I had developed an auto immune disease that was slowly destroying my ability to maintain normal blood sugars. Diagnosed with LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults) I am completely insulin dependent. Essentially I am now a type 1 diabetic.

However, the good news is the Ketogenic Diet has helped me to successfully maintain normal A1c’s and use minimal insulin. Though my doctor is still not happy with my eating choices, he can no longer claim it is unhealthy or unsustainable. Though his opinion no longer matters to me. I see him only to renew my insulin and get blood work for my benefit and not his. 

This one diagnostic failure isn’t the only reason I no longer longer trust my doctor. Enter Covid. My doctor’s office still demands that I wear a silly mask. Even now when I visit the office all the staff, doctor included are wearing masks and face shields. These people of science are still living in the ignorance of Fauci and the CDC. They regularly try to push the ineffective, sometimes harmful vaccines. Medicine has sold itself to the political narrative. 

Another disappointing aspect to this tale is the questionnaire I am handed every time I enter the practice for a checkup. The form wants me to check a box to affirm my gender. Am I trans-male, trans-female, nonbinary, or whatever other fanciful description created by comical cultural insanity. It is concerning to me that health professionals are encouraging an obvious biologically impossible category. There are only 2 genders, or sexes if you prefer, that is male and female. Anything else is made up silliness that ought to be laughed at and not taken seriously.

There are many other things that could be added to this blog and I’m certain medicine will continue to disappoint. I have learned one thing during the madness of the time. I, and I only, am responsible for my health and that nutrition is the beginning of good treatment. I have long given up on sharing my eating lifestyle with health professionals, they are stuck in a paradigm that demands conformity. As with all of us, it is easier to go along than to pushback against cultic group think. 

I cannot help but be affected by the truth that the abuses perpetrated against the whole nation, and the world, was recommended by those whose profession is supposed to protect our health. The lockdowns, mask mandates, school closings, closed churches, shuttered businesses, and the lonely deaths of the elderly were all the product of health professionals. I for one will never see a doctor in the light of the past. Their oath to “do no harm” was jettisoned in a manufactured panic. The reasoning for such action is not really clear, but what is clear is my doctor and yours are not healers they are legal drug dealers, that should make all of us uneasy.

Guilt and hiding from the truth

A conscience free from guilt is a rarity in this age of deception and selfishness. A duplicitous person does not know the comfort of a conscience free from self-condemnation. They are the victims of their own actions constantly badgered by their own lack of veracity. The consequences of incurred guilt are debilitating to everyone struggling to find peace and happiness. Depression, sadness, and loss of hope are the byproduct of guilt. 

Modern psychology seeks to mollify guilt by taking blame away from the sufferer. They look for outside causes and past traumas that might have precipitated a sense of self-condemnation. Generally, the cause sought is a parent, sibling, close relative or some other factor in the person’s life. Very rarely, if ever, is the client encouraged to look inwardly for the answer to their suffering. If someone else can be blamed, then the person is exonerated of all responsibility. They do not have to examine their moral character or take inventory of their motives. However, barring extenuating circumstances, a person’s actions are based upon choice. Choice indicates a moral decision. A moral decision, based on its intent, is either good or bad. The action cannot be separated from the actor. 

Granted, there are times when guilt is not valid. If the person was sexually abused, physically abused or victimized by other uncontrollable circumstances, then self-blame usually isn’t valid. However, placating a bruised conscience by diverting guilt to someone else will only lead to further bad behavior. Guilt, though uncomfortable, is a means of self-improvement, it also leads to self-government. Guilt forces us to look inwardly and change behavior where appropriate. Culpability also produces a heavy weight of condemnation.

The self-condemnation of earned guilt is not easily eradicated. The intense sorrow for cheating, harming, or ruining someone else is a lingering byproduct of guilt. It is difficult to escape the nagging inner voice reminding us of our behavior. This relentless inner condemnation steals our peace and makes happiness an impossible possession. Christians have long understood that forgiveness and a redirected life is the only remedy for the condemnation of guilt. Jesus, who died on the cross for the guilty, offers forgiveness and a new life to all who come to him. This seemingly simplistic cure for condemnation is, and always has been, a difficult hurdle for many. Yet, the truth remains, that forgiveness is the only medicine capable of healing a guilty conscience.

Increasingly the current generation of young people vie for spaces where they cannot be confronted. Anything challenging their presuppositions is an affront to their weak conscience. Worse yet, they avoid any speech that might ignite a sense of guilt. This inclination is dangerous and has created a group of young people incapable of self-examination. Rather than dealing with the flaws in their own character, they accuse others of ill intentions, and like petulant children throw violent tantrums. This growing trend of safe-spaces is perilous because it demands the abrogation of personal responsibility.

Churches are also guilty of promoting the notion of safety from culpability. Every effort, in many mainline denominations, is taken to remove personal guilt. Church leaders are fearful of offending prospective members and there is no desire to make anyone uncomfortable in their moral lapses. Therefore, preachers and teachers rarely talk of moral imperatives, or the difference between right and wrong. Bad behavior is no longer condemned as antithetical to Christianity. Sin is presented as a mistake rather than a moral choice. Sin is defined as a nuisance, not a destructive force, and is approached with the same careless attitude as psychology. Believers have forgotten that good and evil exist, that sins against God and man impact our character and future. Guilt must be dealt with on a personal level with a personal God. To the church’s shame there is little difference between the church’s and psychology’s approach to guilt.

If our society is to be brought back from the brink of total madness, it must learn to deal with personal responsibility. Forgiveness, confession and repentance need to make a resurgence. Only by dealing with our own inner darkness can we ever hope to rebuild a civil society. A guilty mind is never truly free to act morally.

Does God expect you to be holy?

One of the most destructive omissions in the modern pulpit is the failure to call believers to a holy life. In our mad rush to be accepted by a frowning world Pastors and denominations have watered down the gospel. We have moved from asking what does God expect of me, to demanding what we expect of God.

The majority of preaching is focused on the person. We go to great lengths to extol the benefits of salvation but not the call to separation. For example: God will make everything better, you will be happy, all your problems will be solved. Many have moved from Christ centered preaching to focusing on us. This type of preaching makes Jesus like a mop used to clean up our messes, and once used we put it back in its place until needed again. And like that mop He is not thought of again until the mess in our lives become overwhelming. 

Obviously following Jesus will improve our lives. Our slavery to sin is broken. Our hearts are set free from the bondage to bitterness, wrath and malice. Inward joy is ours, not because we have no problems, but because Jesus has forgiven our sins and has made us fit for heaven. Ease, comfort and happiness are not promised as these are transitory and fleeting. If anything we will be at loggerheads with the world and popular culture. Persecution, discomfort and ridicule are inevitable if we are following Jesus.

Sadly believers have become soft and self indulgent. Ours ears are itchy and we want to hear that we’re okay. We want to be assured that our flaunting the commandments of God is merely a mistake that is of little consequence. We don’t tolerate preaching that makes us squirm, we are at ease in Zion and wish to not be disturbed.

Jesus does not save us “in our sins,” but “from our sins.” God indeed accepts us in spite of where we are, because where he finds us we are in bondage sin. No matter the vileness of our life or the darkness of our heart Jesus meets us where we are. The disconnect comes when preachers leave the impression that we can stay there. God does a supernatural work in our hearts when he saves us! The application of Christ’s blood to our souls is transforming and it is impossible for us to not change.

Once we enter into relationship with Christ we are new creatures. Our past sins are not only forgiven but must be forsaken. Whatever our past proclivities Jesus partners with us to give us the mastery over them. Sexual immorality, dishonesty, violence, addiction, drunkenness become descriptions of the past. There is no such thing as a homosexual-Christian, an immoral-Christian, a dishonest-Christian, a violent-Christian, etc. Old things have passed away and ALL things have become new. 

Instead of following the present degenerate culture and “identifying” by past sinful behavior try “identifying” as a Christian who has been washed in the blood of the lamb. 

Holiness begins when we walk in the Spirit. Every day God will make you more like his dear Son. If you surrender yourself to his will, he will change you from glory to glory. So, if you claim the name of Jesus Christ reckon yourself dead to the world and alive to Christ. Come out from among them, that is the world, and no longer identify with a Christ rejecting culture.

The harder we try to mimic the world in its language, music and lifestyle, the less impact we have on the world. For decades we’ve been told that we have to relate to the world and show them we are no different than they. The truth is we are different, not because of some inward virtue we manufactured, we are different because the blood of Christ has cleansed us from our sin. He has given us a new song, a new life. 

This transformation makes us different because the things we pursued, i.e. drunkenness, adultery, money, fame and any other lifestyle choice that destroys our lives no longer appeal to us. As a believer we ought to be unwilling to listen to the worlds music and revel in entertainment that glorifies wickedness, and immorality. We should be appalled at sexualized and off color humor. We must be appalled at the depictions of our bodies as objects to be used for pleasure. Let us ask our Savior to give us hearts that see the intrinsic value of every life. We must be willing to pursue higher and more lofty goals.

Once we enter into a real life altering relationship with Jesus our focus and allegiance changes. We are not citizens of the world. We are ambassadors of Christ and given a commission to plead his cause to the lost and dying. However, if the lost see nothing in our lives that is better than what they have why would they seek our God? If we act the same, laugh at the same off colored jokes, listen to the same music, follow the same pursuits, live in the same quagmire of money and things, then we have not fully left this world behind. True holiness is seeking with all our heart to divest our lives of the rancid pleasures of this life and pursue a heart filled with love toward all men. 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV

Many believe that what we do isn’t as important as what we profess. For most faith is the only measure of our standing with God, no matter our lifestyle or what our hearts are set on, professing faith is enough. As James reminds us, “Even the demons believe – and shudder” (James 2:19) so faith without the concomitant works of faith is a dead letter. Instead of a dead faith let us seek the life that is in Christ and act and speak as those who will be judged by God’s truth (James 2:12)

Let us get back to the simplicity of the gospel that calls people to real repentance. The world is languishing in darkness. That darkness has become a pall casting a shadow over all of life. Believers, on the other hand, are lights set on a hill. That light cannot shine as long as we cover ourselves with the shadow of sin. Freedom in Christ is the grace to loose the bonds of this wicked world. Consider yourself dead to sin and no longer live dragging the onerous chains of this world. (Romans 6:1-4)